Oh yeah, that Vietnam thing. Fine, I guess we can talk about that too.

So when we last left off we were returning from the mountainous region of Sapa back to Hanoi. We had some other teacher friends traveling to Vietnam over the break who departed from Bangkok a few days later than us. It just so happened that when we were returning from our Sapa trip that they would be in Hanoi. As you might have guess we met up with them to drink some Bia Hoi (this delicious beverage is brewed daily and sold out of kegs on the street for about 18 cents U.S.). We thought it would be fun if we went to Halong Bay together before we parted ways. And so we all booked a boat trip on Halong Bay, which was actually one night on a Junk (boat) and a night on an small island resort (which was all inclusive, except for the booze). This ran us about $85 USD, although it sounds much pimper to say 1.5 million dong.

Halong Bay is a UNESCO World Heritage site (on natural grounds I believe) and located about 3 1/2 hours east of Hanoi. We arrived in Halong City and took a small dingy to our boat. There were about 8 of us teachers in our group, two Brits, and a Scot. Oh yes, and who could forget the Canadian (Blaaaaaahh! Sorry, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. You never really know why you make fun of Canadians… until you actually meet one, then it ‘just feels right’ (and well deserved(I hope no Canadians read this blog, if there are, please don’t beat me up. I’m fragile.))).

When we got on the boat we set sail and headed out in to the bay. The bay has hundreds of tiny lush green and limestone islands that jut out of the water. Unfortunately, the first day you couldn’t see much more than their silhouettes because of low lying fog. It gave off the vibe of the very first seen of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie where they are slowly making the way through the fog. It was a sort of eerie feeling that set me humming ‘Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me.’ (I’ve actually been on the original PotC ride in Disneyland. Unfortunately, there were no fat ladies chasing men around in continuous circles or drunkards balancing on top a stack of beer kegs here. Pity.)

We got to kayak a little during which Timm (who was with Ed) flipped their kayak. Said flipping led to Timm releasing his paddle from his hand. And as it turns out paddles in Vietnam don’t float- probably because they’re made out of steel poles that aren’t water tight. That cost Timm a cool $20. Not really a good story I realized, but this my blog so I can do whatever I want (like say booger). We also checked out a nifty cave that I walked through barefoot because when I asked our guide ‘Do we need shoes?’ she said no (note to self: shoes doesn’t translate into ‘footwear in general’ ie. sandals, flippie floppies, crocs).

After enjoying a delicious seafood dinner, a few of us went down to our room to watch part of the fine classic film Judge Dread staring the Oscar Nomm….Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award nominated Sylvester Stallone! (Why would you watch a movie on vacation? Ermm, because its vacation and much like this blog, I am the law! (Sorry I stole that idea from you Ed. (Inside jokes/comments on blogs are stupid. (Just like that one time in Vegas, right guys?)))).

I’ve never been to Vegas.

One thing that sucked about being on vacation however was being unable to sleep in. We were roused early as usual and after a nice breakfast taken to Cat Ba, one of the biggest islands off the coast of ‘Nam. We went for a nice little bicycle ride and checked out a cool hospital built into a big hill during the Vietnam-American War when we were bombing the bejeezums out of them. Yeah it might get a little boring never getting to really see the light of day and being stuck in a cave, but its probably a lot better than getting hit by a giant bomb. Oh yeah, we lost that war. Jokes aside, this was just the beginning of us really realizing how smart the Vietcong were, which I will talk about more when I talk about the tunnels outside of Saigon in Act III.

After that we were shuttled to another boat docking area and were taken to “Monkey Island” by motorboat, where we would stay for the night. Timm and I shared a quaint little bungalow set back just 10 meters or so from the beach, and it provided an appropriate setting for our pirate based Dungeon and Draaa… nevermind.

“So were there monkeys?” By golly you bet there were some monkeys, although we had to first hike up a hillside and back down to the other side of the island. I however kept my distance. I was walking toward the “monkey area” and heard a blood curdling scream. Then I saw about 8 people fleeing from the trees back onto the beach. Our friend Amy had been bitten by one of these furry primates. No these were not cuddly little monkeys that you hold in you arms, they were vicious and protective monkeys that would rather eat your arms. (I posted a while back a post about some temple monkeys who were far nicer than these monkeys.) A young Thai that was there said he was ambushed by about 8 of them when he walked into his kitchen one time. He had the scars to prove it- and a big stick that he never walks around without now, in case there is a need for some monkey bashing.

Another delicious meal and another laid back evening with a few drinks we went to bed somewhat early. We had yet another early morning in store. The next day was quite really uneventful and mostly consisted of a long cruise back to Halong City through the bay. There weather was much clearer this time than the first day, which was nice, and provided some better photo opportunities. The day ended with a van ride back to Hanoi. (I know its not the most exciting ending to a story.) So we’ll pick up from there when I get to Act III.

One of my closest friends from home is visiting me for a couple of weeks (something you should think about doing!) and he is getting in tonight. So it’s hard to say how much blogging I’ll get to do, although I have some time between my classes somedays, so maybe I’ll write then. But as a gift to you right now (no its not virtual boogers) I will leave you with a cover I recorded of the beloved classic, Linger, by The Cranberries.

Ps. If I’ve offended anyone with my low level of maturity in this post, then I’m sorry. (But it’s an “I’m sorry you read this,” rather than a “I’m sorry I wrote this.”)

We departed Bangkok on Sunday evening October 4th and arrived in Hanoi about 2 hours later. We found ourselves a hotel for $6 dollars each in an area called the Old Quarter.  Now for those of you not so keen on your Vietnam history before the American War (as it’s called in Vietnam), the country used to be occupied by the French before Uncle Ho (Ho Chi Minh) ran them out of town. So naturally there is a lot of French influence in the architecture and cuisine in both Hanoi and Saigon. Thin and tall buildings, cafes, and freshly baked baguettes. All of this was a refreshing change because the city had an identity, whereas Bangkok is a mish-mash of buildings and streets.

Hanoi was still extremely busy though, and while I thought Bangkok’s drivers were bad, Hanoi’s are terrible. Motos (motorbikes) out number cars and street lights are either ignored or non-existent. Crossing the street is terrifying and you’ll be just as lucky to get across with your eyes closed than if they were open- and that’s no exaggeration. We found the trick was to just go for it and keep a steady pace, so the motos could calculate their plan of avoidance- I’m pretty sure I still almost got nailed no less than 5 times. Additionally, the sidewalks are blocked by all of the parked motos, so the street is your only option. Pedestrians live in constant fear of being instantly pulverized.

After chilling out in Hanoi for a day we set up a trip through our hotel to go north to Sapa, which is a small town in the mountains close to the Chinese border. In just the past ten years or so it has seen an explosion in tourism because of its magnificent landscape and ethnic diversity. Many different ethnic groups live in the area by growing rice on the mountain sides. Many of them would sooner consider their nationality to be that of their ethnic group rather than being considered Vietnamese. However, there is certainly no resentment toward the Vietnamese, as they have been part of the land for hundreds of years. While the children are required to attend school, many of the parents don’t know how to speak Vietnamese because they never attended school in the first place and are so isolated that each ethnic group has their own language. A neighboring village only 1km away may be of a different ethnic group, so while the two villages may be friends, they often can’t verbally communicate with each other. Get all that?

We took a swanky overnight sleeping train whose A/C was wackier than Willy Wonka. At one point it got so cold in our cabin I could see my breath, while later it became unbearably hot- and we had no control over it. It wasn’t the best night of sleep. The second day in Sapa we set off on a a two day trek through the mountains with our guide, Linh, who was part of the Hmong people. Apparently this is the same ethnic group featured in the movie Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood, I’ve never seen it, but I do know the Hmong people are all over the world, about 5 million in total, mostly in China and Vietnam. We disembarked on our trek with about 10 other tribes people, all women, who walked with us and made us cool little animals out of pieces of straw, clearly something learned through a lot of down time walking to and from their village. They were all very curios and kind, and most could speak very good English because of all of the tourists that come around.

After getting to the bottom of the valley, I found many of these people and children who had won my heart over with their cute straw animals all began to ask me to buy a bag, bracelet, hat, or headband of some sort from them. Oh they are good! How is a person able to deny commitment like that? “Oh ya know, just heading back to my village, thought I’d tag along with you funny looking white folk for the walk. Where do you come from? What’s your name? How old are you? Oh, interesting. I’m a little bored, let me make you these adorable plant animals. Look a deer! Look a caterpillar! Look a flower! No worries, just some friendly gifts from me to you. Would you look at that, it seems as if we have arrived at the village! YOU WANT TO BUY A BAG? YOU WANT HEADBAND? YOU WANT BRACELET? BUY FROM ME! BUY FROM ME! BUY BUY BUY! ONLY 100,000 DONG! I GIVE YOU SPECIAL PRICE, 80,000 DONG! WHY YOU BUY FROM HER NOT FROM ME! YOU BUY FORM HER AND NOT FROM ME! YOU LIKE HER MORE, YOU DON’T LIKE ME! LATER YOU BUY FROM ME OK!”

Sorry, I got a little carried away on that rant but that is exactly what its like. And they drive hard bargains, which are really never bargains until you begin to walk away and they cave in. That’s if you can walk away. I got surrounded on a bridge and had no easy escape unless I plowed people over. It’s a good thing my mother taught me to be polite, because that all you can really do is keep saying “No, thank you” and “Sorry, don’t want.” I escaped the bridge ambush eventually and took haven in the little restaurant for lunch while the sellers waited patiently by the door. One women after lunch insisted that I had promised to buy something from her when we first left Sapa at the top of the valley (I didn’t of course). She wouldn’t leave me alone after I insisted that I never said such a thing. “YOU PROMISE YOU BUY FROM ME! YOU PROMISE ME AT TOP OF HILL! I REMEMBER, YOU SAY YOU GERMAN!” I think you’ve got the wrong guy lady. Good hunting!

I may have neglected to mention that this was a two-day trek in which we would stay at one of the houses in the village for the night. So as we continued to make our way to that destination after lunch we continued to pass adorable children, a school, more sellers, and plenty of wildlife- buffalo, chickens, and pigs. We arrived at our house in the early afternoon and relaxed around the place, meeting three other (older) travelers and their guides- two Australians and one Japanese. We got to know each other as we played pool and sat around eating garlic fries. Yes it’s true, we weren’t exactly roughing it at all like we thought. The home seemed to be equipped and ready to take on the most needy of westerners- hot shower, flushing toilet, and a pool table. Granted, the families don’t mind since its extra income for the family which would otherwise have none, and they were more than happy to have us.

After a gigantic dinner consisting of beef, pork, chicken, vegetable, tofu (yuck!) and rice of course, we continued to drink what is known as Rice Wine, or as or guide began to call it, Magic Water. Both of which are misnomers because the taste certainly doesn’t resemble any wine I’ve ever had. And it didn’t give me any magical powers either- doing quite the opposite in fact. No, what we were drinking is better known as rice whiskey. Distilled and made by the farmers themselves, it is the drink of choice for the Hmong people with many traditions associated. Essentially its moonshine that is distilled into a 15 gallon jug, then siphoned off into empty water bottles for easy pouring and consumption. And consumed it was.  A somewhat acquired taste, the first shot goes down pretty hard, and gets exponentially easier as they come, for obvious reasons I imagine. It was a fun night with a lot of excitement, but I won’t go into details because I don’t want to bore you (also they are a little hazy).

After a solid night’s sleep, which was aided by our Magic Water, we woke early to have crepes and bananas for breakfast. We headed out on the last leg of our trek walking along the sides of the rice paddies with the valley below. It was another beautiful day although a little hazy like the day before. We slowly wound down the mountain, stopping along the way for our guide Linh to show us some games, villages, and how to shoot a slingshot (we know how, but she did it a lot better). The trek ended with soup fo lunch, some more heckling from the sellers, and a bus back to Sapa. That’s right, we didn’t even have walk back up the valley. As Americans, we were way too lazy for that. It was also about 20km.

Enjoy the photographs as usual. Sorry for any typos, I’m a bit lazy when it comes to proofreading my personal blog. Act II will come in the following few days with any luck.